Waiting for my surro pregnancy results

Well I have contemplated whether or not to start writing about my second surrogacy journey. My name is Jeanette and I am 33. I have been married almost 14 years to a wonderful guy and we have a 12 year old daughter and 6 year old twins (boy & girl). I wish I would have wrote about my first experience as a surrogate. I will save that story for another time :-) As of today, I have just completed my 3rd try (transfer) for a couple in France. I am in California. My first two transfers sadly did not take and I just had my third transfer on March 16th. The doctor transferred (2) 5 day embryos. This whole experience has been like a roller coaster of emotions for me! Not that all the hormone shots don't have something to do with it lol! It is so hard and devasting to go through the doctors appt. shots and emotions just to be let down after you get your beta blood test back and find out it is negetive. Especially when all the hormones your on really trick you into thinking and feeling like you are pregnant! It can be very deceiving!!! It makes it even harder when your surrogate couple lives so far away and I do not really feel connected to them or any kind of bond yet. I think they have a guard up with me until they know that I am pregnant. It just makes it hard on me to not really have that communication to help with all the emotions I am feeling :( As of right now I am 5 days past a 5 day embryo transfer. I will have my first beta blood test on Friday, March 23rd. The waiting and wondering takes such a toll on your emotions and it's really hard! I have been tempted to take a home pregnancy test but am afraid to. So I am waiting and the worst part is the doctors office will not give me the results until my second beta on Monday, March 26th! I will keep you posted on my emotions through out this process and the results!